Friendship reveals the shadow in us.

 Trusted friendships are a safe place to be yourself. It is my place to see me through another person’s eyes. A true friend is sustained over many years and is only someone who can forgive us our trespass and then, when it is our turn, we forgive them.

A true friend knows what our challenges are and listens to the good, bad, and ugly. They are a companion to our weak moments and support us or cheer us on in the celebratory moments. They reveal the shadow in us. Real friendship is a blessing for over time, it is renewed and rediscovered when we least expect it.

Mutual forgiveness is built into this incredible arrangement which is so natural that we are okay when our dark side might emerge. That is just being human. Friendships like this where we have known someone for many years or what feels like many years, mean we see their difficulties too and of course their special gifts.

Do not underestimate the power of friendship. It requires we are vulnerable and that we cherish this circle of friends even if it is a small circle.

David Whyte, poet, and philosopher says in his book, Consolations that “friendship transcends disappearance: an enduring friendship goes on even after death, the exchange only transmuted by absence, and maturing in a silent internal conversational way.”

I took the last year to write and illustrate a children’s book called, Nona Taught us Friendship. It was a way for me to honor and keep my conversation alive with Nona, our beloved dog, who passed away in 2022. It was a heart filled project, and I was fortunate to have a fabulous graphic artist, Suzie Cullen, now a friend who helped me set this up, refine the images, design the format and be my partner in crime. I learned so many things along the way.

When you know that your friend or close relative “sees” you, understands you, and believes in you it is the most wonderful feeling and personal gift. It grounds us in so many ways.

I believe there were four elements which served as the foundation for being a great partner and friend. I experienced it in working with Suzie. Here they are.

·       Active listening and empathy – Paying close attention to each of our ideas and showing that we both cared about what we brought to the project which fostered respect and understanding.

·       Support and kindness – Be there for my new partner in crime through the easy parts and the tough ones. Giving ourselves breathing room and moral support to strengthen our bond.

·       Respect Boundaries – Understand and honor each other’s limits and roles in creating a first-time children’s story with original art. It was such a gift to collaborate openly and honestly. We appreciated each other’s strengths.

·       Patience – There was clearly willingness to give the process space, for Suzie juggles school, work, and other priorities while I did the same. When we didn’t connect for whatever reason, it seemed that once we did get back to the project, there was a seamless energy of taking it from where we left off. Trust and patience with a heavy dose of commitment and fun stayed top of mind.

The book shares a lesson about friendship so that children begin to see the value and possibility in making friends. Check this out on blurb.com or Nona Taught Us Friendship by Sherry Benjamins | Blurb Books or use the code BookClub20 for a 20% discount.  You can also reach out to me and I have copies for discount also.

Find your special connection with people who believe in you. In chaotic times, friendships are the solid ground, honesty and mutual respect that becomes our lifeline.

Wishing you a day of friend gratitude.

Coach, Artist and Dog Lover

Sherry@sbcompany.net